Mable just wants Dipper to be happy
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Mable is a good sister, with a good heart. She only wants her brother to know happiness and love. And to be the best guy he can be...no matter the cost... a story idea from ImperialStar
1. Chapter 1

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Once more Stan looked up toward his niece and Nephew...and couldn't shake the feeling that something was WRONG. The kids had only been here a week...but they...their was something OFF about them...

The boy was way too quiet, never spoke, always did what he was told...and when not doing anything basically just sat in the corner to rot...

And the girl...at first she just seemed just like a crazy lovable loon...but there were times...her eye's...the only time he'd seen eye's like that in the prison guards of Columbia...black...soulless...dead inside...

Stan shook his head, _"Will you listen to yourself! Your talking about a little girl here! Sheesh, I really am getting senile."_

Meanwhile, Wendy looked up from her magazine and saw Dipper bring the soda she asked for. "Here you are Mrs. Wendy." Said Dipper in a flat tone.

Wendy frowned at that, "Uh, dude you can just call me Wendy." "As you wish Wendy." Said Dipper flatly as he tried to hand it to her, unfortunately it was at the same time Wendy tried to reach for it-

 **SPLASH!**

ensuing collision of hands caused her to spill it all over herself, but Wendy didn't even notice that-

 **"I'MSORRY!PLEASEFORGIVEME!I'MUNWORTHYTOBEINYOURPRESENCE!PLEASEDON'THURTME!I'LLBEGOOD!**

Wendy looked down in horrified disbelief as the kid sobbed and begged for mercy.

"Whoa- Whoa, their Dipper! It's fine! It was an accident. Nothing to worry-

"What's going on here?"

Wendy looked up, and was stunned. It was Mable...but instead of the lovable goofball air she'd gotten used to...it was...it was like looking at an executioner before he chopped off a dozen heads...

Dipper whimpered, "Mrs. Mable, I'm sorry i-

Mable held up a hand, silencing him. She turns to Wendy, "Forgive his incompetence Wendy, I'll take care it."

Wendy...Wendy didn't know WHAT was going on here...but she was getting all sorts of bad vibes, "Wha- Take care of what? It's just a spilled soda, and it was clearly a-

"Don't defend him, he needs to learn!" Before Wendy could say anything, she turns to Dipper. "Dipper, come." She said more in a way one would talk to a disobedient pet rather then a human being. Dipper...sobbed, but nodded and followed...

"What the frak just happened here?" Asked Wendy aloud.

...

Dipper could vaugley remember...remember...remember a time he'd been happy...both he and his sis- Mrs. Mable and him had been happy. His dad had taken them from Mo- Mrs. Pines and her friends and family...and they;d been happy.

...but then dad died, and they came back...and now...

Mable just shook her head at him, "Why do you keep doing this Dipper? You know I only want what's best for you, you know I want you to be happy. And you can only be happy when you make your better's happy! How's that hard to understand?!" She said genuinely confused.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Mable. I'll do better Mrs. Mable." Said Dipper in a dead monotone.

Mable sighed, "Assume the position."

Dipper whimpered...but obeyed. Bit by bit...he took off the heavy clothes he was required to wear...and bit by bit...the scars that criss-crossed his body were revealed.

Mable sighed as she began to go through her belongings, "Dang it Dipper, you know I don't like doing this...but what choice do I have? If I don't keep your perversion, debauchery and disobedience at bay...you'll murder and rape me...rape ALL women. And we can't have that!" She finally found what she was looking for and headed toward Dipper.

"Yes Mrs. Mable, as you say Mrs. Mable." He says in a dead, monotone manner. He'd discarded all his clothes save for the homemade Chasity belt that covered his genitals.

Mable looked at for a second and tsked, "Darn thing got a bit loose again", she promptly tugs on a strap, tightening the belt, Dipper cries in pain as blood leaks from his groin...

Mable ignores this, takes out a key and unlocks his belt, letting it clatter to the floor. Dipper instinctively covered his privates- "Dipper." Warned Mable annoyed...his hands fall away in shame.

Mable nodded in satisfaction, the belt continued to do it's work. Keeping dipper's genitals crushed, deformed and TINY. Mable laughed, "Excellent, it's like looking at two sesame seeds and a raisin! Perfectly useless for anything save for bringing more girls into the world, as it should be.

"Yes, Mrs. Mable. Of course Mrs. Mable." Said a properly humiliated Dipper in a still monotone, dead voice as he takes his cue to spread his back to her and chain his own hands so they spread out.

"Mable let the cat-O-Nine tails drape to the floor, "Remember Dipper-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

-I do this because I love you!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"I do this only so you can be happy!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"I do this so that a miserable Male like you-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

-Can forget they don't deserve to exist!"

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

"WHAT THE BLOOD IS GOING ON HERE!?" Both twins turned to see a furious Wendy standing in the attic, looking upon the scene before her in horror.

Mable just looked at her neutrally, "This doesn't concern you Wendy, Dipper is my property and I'll punish him for his incompetence."

Wendy just looked at her like she'd grown a second head, "I- Wha- Property? HE'S YOUR BROTHER! WHO YOUR WHIPPING! AND HE'S BLEEDING!"

Mable shrugged, "Yeah, well...what can you do? He's a guy, this is what needs to be done to keep them in line." She said dismissively as she turns to get back to 'work'.

 **CRACK!**

And down went Mable, a wrench to the head will do that. Dipper was shocked to find himself swept into arms, "It's okay Dipper...I'm here for you now..." Whispered Wendy sweetly...

Dipper didn't know why...but for the first time in a long time...he felt...happy...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Things kinda downward spiraled after that. Mable was quickly arrested, all the while she exclaimed that she did nothing wrong, that she was only trying to keep Dipper happy by keeping him on the 'right path'. As well as defending herself from Dipper raping her.

It got even more messed up when they find her 'scrapbook' of ' _Precious Memories'..._ which was basically hundreds of pictures of Dipper and numerous other guys(from 5 to 30 years old) being tortured, mutilated, whipped, beaten, amputated, castrated, violated, water-boarded, defecated on and molested.

After Blubs had stopped vomiting and Durland had stopped crying...they immediately called the feds, saying: "I wash my hands of this, let's be honest. I'm a lousy cop, I'm WAY over my head here!"

But when the feds show up-

"You ain't taking my niece without a explaining to me what the blood is going on! And don't pull any 'for the good of the country' BS! I've defended myself against every judge in every state of the country and Columbia! So I know what NOT to do in a court, I know her rights!" Screamed Stan.

The agents sympathetically explained the situation...

Turns out the twins father was swindled into joining a cult of hereditary addict feminists who see men as beings who are inferior to women and are also the worst kind of monsters who's only true purpose in life is to produce girls.

Mabel was taught that Dipper being a man was even worse than an animal and as such he should be mistreated and humiliated in order to make sure he knew who his superior and would not give into his desires to go into her bed and rape her.

There had been a time when their father had a moment of bravery, sanity and love(whatever you want to call it) to his children when they were born and fled the cultist community the Twins had a very beautiful union of siblinghood, their mother struggled to recover them during all that time but I can not get them...

They were happy.

But all that was over, a car accident- which surprisingly dose seem like a genuine accident- took their father's life and they ended up back with their mother.

At first Mabel did not think it was very right to do such horrible things, but as time went on, she was convinced that it was for 'Dipper's own good' and ended up mistreating her brother and casting aside the siblinghood that they once had.

The feds and local law enforcement had been trying to gather evidence and bring the hammer down on them for years...

But this community of abusers were very clever. They knew how to be discrete, forcing men to wear large clothes that hide their wounds, using their pottery kiln's to burn the bodies, bribing crooked doctors to patch up broken male's in privacy, among other methods to hide their nefarious activities.

It seems the reason why their mother sent them to Stan is because they finally slipped up. A little boy tried to escape in the middle of the night and was shot by one of the woman in the street, this unfortunately attracted the attention of a nearby patrol car and the police found the crime scene before they could recover the corpse.

This has lead to full investigation on their community and although the few adult men have been successfully conditioned to not talk, the children are another story, they are not so discreet.

They hated to send them to a 'male', but they did not have another option that wouldn't look suspicious.

Fortunately, between Mable's 'confession', Dipper's wounds and the evidence provided by her scrapbook, they had all they needed to put those woman behind bars for life.

Mable though...Mable was going to an insane asylum for life...

And Dipper? Dipper refused to let go of Wendy. He couldn't describe it...all his life he'd learn to fear woman...but with her...he felt SAFE.

A broken hearted Stan can't find the strength in him to fight off Wendy's suggestion the Dipper stay with her until they got doctors to check up on him(real one's not the quacks her in Gravity Falls), he dismisses them without much effort...then goes get stone-cold drunk...

...

Wendy...Wendy didn't know what to make of the situation...it was all so surreal...

Dipper refused to eat until she told him it was okay...he tired to sleep on the FLOOR until she told him it was okay to sleep in her bed.

She turns her back on him for one second...and she finds him naked on her bed...

Wendy, looked at his mutilated body and testicles in horror and disgust.

"Uh...(retch in mouth) Dipper? What are you doing buddy?"

"You were kind to me...so now I must reward you with sex. As I have always done." Said Dipper in a broken monotone.

Wedny went very pale, "Now...when you say 'always'...

"Don't worry Mrs. Wendy, I've been trained most of my life so I could keep my female superiors happy, I promise I can keep you satisfied." He say again in a broken monotone voice...

Wendy said nothing...she went outside...screamed bloody murder and destroyed several acres of forest...

Her father wisely locked the doors and forbade his son's from bothering her...

...several days later...

Wendy sighed as she put up signs in the forest, Dipper was currently getting treatment from a specialist the feds had sent down...but it looked bad...so very bad...

"I don't believe this...I feel like I'm in a horror movie...no, actually this is worse then a horror movie! In a horror movie you just need to chop off a ghouls head, recite a spell, throw a ring in a volcano, or some other cliche BS...this...there was no happy ending here, just broken family...and even more broken boy..."

Wendy just continues to muse out loud as she continues to put up signs for the mystery shack...

"If only I could help him- Wendy snorts -Yeah, okay get real Wendy! This boy has been traumatized and abused! What are you gonna do? Chilax him to better health!? This is a REAL situation, with REAL consequences and issues! You can't just wave a magic wand and make everything better!

 **CLANG!**

Wendy looked in surprise as her hammer dented a metal tree...soon she'd find a strange journal...

It wasn't a magic wand...but it would do...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

 **AN: This chapter is dedicated to ImperialStar, he and his family live in Venezuela and need all the support they can get! PM him now and give him a donation!**

...

...

"Through my investigations I have learned that the Gnome Queen is a highly respected and wise leader of the enchanted forest; among her many duties is playing mediator to various disputes between magical creatures, deciding who wins the miss dewdrop beauty pageant, deciding when her subjects will vomit rainbow during the summer solstice orchestra, and anointing her subjects with her queen 'jelly' to keep them from falling into madness and debauchery."

Wendy read the book **out loud** and sighed... "Am I seriously doing this? Following the words of a madmen into the deepest part of the forest to get a 'magical' item from a 'magical' creature?...am I nuts?" She gripped as she continued to walk.

Wendy knew it was nuts...but...well, what else could she do then? She felt completely powerless helping Dipper...she couldn't just stand around and do nothing, she needed to help him!

...and that's why she was walking this stupid trail, to the middle of nowhere, to find a most likely nonexistent creature to get a nonexistent 'jelly'...that might not even work at all!

Wendy stopped in her tracks, "Seriously what am I doing? Do I REALLY believe that if I keep walking I'll find an 'ENCHANTED' Forest abundant in fairy tale creatures? What am I, five?"

"Not with that attitude." Said a Kill Billy as it sipped it's morning cup of Joe- or BLOOD of a guy named Joe anyway -while walking past her to it's ancestral 'squatting' hole...

Wendy blinked, "Did I just see a- She shakes her head, "Frak it if I'm having a nervous breakdown it might as well be while at least making an effort to help Dipper..."

With that 'happy' thought she continues her walk through the woods...

...

A gnome bathing in squirrels...this was the first scene Wendy found. Jeff the Gnome King looked at her startled, "Uh...what? This...this is normal...normal for gnomes! All gnomes do this!" He lied quickly.

Wendy was too busy suppressing her gag reflex to respond, so Jeff wrapped a towel around himself and jumped out. "You here for the position of Queen? Sorry babe, but we like em SMALL." He said with a lecherous grin.

Wendy was about to cold-cock the tiny perv when what he actually said occurred to her, "Wait, the position of Queen is open? What happened to her?" Asked Wendy confused.

Jeff sighed, "It was tragic...she got eaten by a badger." Said Jeff wiping a tear from his eye, "Which means I'm now a bachelor!" He says in a suddenly more upbeat tone. He then wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Hey, you may not be eligible to be Queen but if you want to make some quick money-

Suddenly he found himself lifted up by his windpipe as Wendy started to strangle him, "Look buddy I'm just here to get some of that Queen's 'jelly', it cures insanity, dementia, mental disorders and trauma right?"

Jeff gagged, "Supposedly...but honestly i think that's a bunch of traditionalist hooey! The queens been dead and hasn't been able to give us our daily anointing for weeks now! And were all just fine!"

Jeff then grabs a nearby butterfly, puts mustard on it, sets it on fire and then smokes it.

Wendy gives him a weird look, "Riiight...so if I get you a new queen I'll get some of that jelly for myself?"

Jeff shrugged, "I guess...but girl gnomes aren't born. They got to be MADE. There's a special ritual that transforms a human girl into the gnome queen, of course she has to be young enough where her body can handle the change, about 12 years old ought to do it..."

Wendy frowns, _"12 years old? ...well, that puts me out of the running...but where dose that leave me ? I'm clearly onto something to cure at least some of Dipper's issues...I got to get that jelly...but who would be willing to do it? Let's see...she'd have to be 12...female...pretty enough for these perv's to accept her, but capable of protecting herself lest they get too grabby...who dose that leave me with? It's not like this is a big town...not too many 12 year old's that met that criteri-_

Wendy paled as a realization hits her...

...

Wendy takes a deep breath... "For Dipper!" She shouts to herself as she walks up to the Northwest Mansion...

...

"I'm sorry, you want my daughter to what?" Asked Preston Northwest.

Wendy groaned, "Look, I know it sounds crazy- But I brought proof, see?" Hold up a gnome she'd been keeping in her backpack, "SCHMEBULOCK!"

Preston Northwest gave a dismissive wave of his hand, "Oh, no you misunderstand. It's not the supernatural bits that flummox me, simply what you ask my daughter to do."

This in turn flummoxed Wendy, "Wait, seriously? You know about all the weird supernatural stuff that goes on here?"

Preston shrugged, "A group of well-meaning...'civil servants' in town feel it's within everyone's best interest to keep the normal and the abnormal separate, my influence and resources made it difficult for me NOT to know about such things. But we eventually came to an...'understanding'." He says that last part with a smirk as he reminisces.

...

 _Preston Northwest looks down at the members of the 'Blind Eye' society who'd tried to sneak into his mansion after he'd seen some weird little men stealing pie...and promptly got captured and beaten up by his private security force._

 _"Fortunately for you lot, I have a rather unsettling memory regarding a battered woman's shelter and a bed pan- (shudder) -perhaps we can make a deal?"_

...

Wendy frowns at that, "Wait, how do they- She shakes her head, "Never mind. Look, the point is that jelly could really help Dipper deal with his trauma-

"No, I got that but I'm afraid I missed the part where that's my problem." Said Preston snottily, the only real reason he'd allowed her into his presence was to watch the scion of their 'rival'- And he used that term loosely -family grovel.

Wendy resisted the urge to punch him, there were security guard everywhere with GUNS. She takes a deep breath and begins again... "Think of it this way...your daughter will be ruler of her own kingdom-

"What, a kingdom of them?" He points to Schembulock with a sneer.

"Schmebulock!" Shouts the gnome as he waves.

Wendy quickly backtracked, "Uh, I read up the Gnome Queen is actually one of the most respected and influential in the enchanted forest!"

Preston thought for a second... "Well that's a BIT better...but still kinda 'meh'. Why should I be excited over the prospect of my daughter gaining influence with savage monsters and abominations?"

Wendy started to sweat, "Uh...free labor?"

Preston gained a thoughtful look, "Hmmm, interesting...I'll have some of my HR people look into the feasibility of that later...but I'd rather have something concrete that I could use NOW. Especially considering your asking me to use one of my most important assets for such a frivolous thing."

 _"Did he seriously just refer to his daughter as an asset?"_ Thinks Wendy to herself before once more swallowing her pride and beginning again.

"Um...okay, well what about the jelly? If it can cure psychological issues in humans, that be a huge cash cow for you."

Preston again looks thoughtful, "Well, one can never have enough money...still, you don't know for certain it works on human... Sorry, my dear, your making it sound better and better...but I absolutely refuse to have any part of that wacky forest unless I get at least one immediate benefit as a down payment.

Wendy was getting desperate, "Uh...the good PR you'll get for helping a mentally/physically tortured boy in the center of a rather large scandal that's currently taking the national headlines by storm?"

Again Preston becomes thoughtful as he taps his chin, "Tempting...definitely tempting..." He says in a neutral tone of voice.

Wendy groaned, "Gah! I give up, what, what would it take for you to do this?"

Preston smirked, Looked her up and down... "Well...I have a bordello in the south seas that could always use a new young intern." He said perversely.

Wendy looks at him in disgust, she shuddered suddenly feeling VERY violated...then sigh's, the memory of Dipper's horrifically mutilated body ever present in her mind-

"Okay, fine I-

 **ENOUGH!**

Both residents were shocked when flames erupted from the ground, forming a burly ghost with a flaming bear and an axe in his head!

 **"I'm Archibald Corduroy! The noble act of selflessness done by my blood has summoned me here! But I shall not allow my descendant to shame herself! Preston I wish to make a covenant with you! If thou agrees to my scions accord- minus the part of the bordello, seriously man what the blood? that's just messed up. She's fraking underage for crying out loud! - I shall sweeten the deal by casting aside my vow of vengeance! I shall simply walk the earth forever, never at peace, but never bothering you or your kin."** He swore solemnly.

Preston looked surprised for a moment...then cackled evilly. "Well, certainly wasn't expecting this! I love it when crap like this lines up! In any case, love the offer...and I'll accept on the condition you ALSO become my family's guardian ghost AND my company's new mascot...were thinking of retiring Camel Cool, people just aren't into cigarettes anymore, especially the new generation...they'd rather stay home and watch porn."

Archibald gaped, "You would go so far as to add to my torment!?...DOSE YOUR DEPRAVITY KNOW NO BOUNDS NORTHWEST!?"

Preston shrugs, "If so, I haven't found it. Now enough talk, do we have a deal or not?"

Archibald sighed, gave his frightened and confused relative another look, then nodded and shook **Preston's** hand. and like that, the deal was struck...

"Uh...what the FRACK just happened here?" Asked a horrified Wendy baffled

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

...Responses...

...

 **HEY KIDS! IT'S ME, MR. FUNTIME GHOST! THE FRIENDLY NORTHWEST CORPORATION COPYRIGHTED GHOST!**

 **STAY TUNED AFTER THESE NORTHWEST CORPORATION MESSAGES TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT NEW NORTHWEST CORPORATION ASTOUNDING PRODUCTS!**

The former Vengeful and now deeply degraded Corduroy ghost groaned as the cameras went off, "Someone re-kill me now..."

Wendy sees her ancestors plight...this was horrible...still...at least Dipper would be okay now when Pacifica produces that jelly...

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE CAN'T PRODUCE THE JELLY!?" Shouted Wendy at a fearful Jeff.

Jeff shrugged, "Sorry lady, there's a large incubation and gestation period...it'll be at least till Summer's end before she's 'mature' enough in the anointment process."

Wendy groaned...all that for nothing...well, not NOTHING, by the end of the summer she'd have the jelly...but until then-

"Jeff! Stop talking to that commoner and attend me!"

 _-This was going to be very annoying."_ Thinks Wendy as she watches 'Queen' Pacifica be attended by servants from all different magical species. It was rather sad that all it took to run a supposedly enchanted forest in a manner of days was a fancy title and some manipulative high-school alpha bitch bullying tactics...mostly the later...

Wendy sighed as she starts to walk away, _"Well...I guess it's back to the journal...there has to be another way to help Dipp-_

"Hold it right there! Where do you think your going Corduroy?"

Wendy turned back with questioning glare, "Uh...home? What's it to you?"

Pacifica smirked, "Oh, I don't think so...I could do with another servant."

Wendy laughed, "Yeah...that's not happening."

"Well, maybe I won't give Dipper my Jelly then."

The forest went silent, Wendy looked at her in horrified disbelief. "What are you...WE HAD A DEAL!" She snapped angrily.

"No, the deal was for your ancestor to become my family's mascot in exchange for me becoming gnome queen...we never agreed on what we'd do afterwards." She pointed out nastily.

Wendy snarled and reached toward her in a throttling motion...only to be blocked by several Manitoaur's and various other monsters.

"ah,ah,ah." Pacifica wags her finger disapprovingly, is that anyway to treat your new queen...

Wendy nearly bit off her tongue in rage...

...

Wendy fanned her 'queen' as she wore a ridiculously tiny leopard skin bikini... "Look, I get the tending to your every need bit...but why the bikini? ...wait...this isn't a...am I a sex slave?" Asked a disgusted Wendy horrified.

Pacifica spat her cola out, equally disgusted. "what!? Ew, NO! Look I know I'm not the nicest person, but come on! No! I don't do that! ... I'm simply doing this as part of my deal with the manitour's, giving them eye candy let's me dock their pay."

"Totally worth it!" Huffs a Manitour as he savors Wendy's scent...

Wendy shuddered... "Right, that's not creepy at all..."

"Less talking, more fanning!"

...

Dipper was curled in a fetal position on Wendy's bed...the doctors had been nice to him...his body no longer hurt everytime he moved(mostly)...but he refused to sleep...for when he slept...Mrs. Pines and Mrs. Mable came back...

He wondered when Mrs. Wendy would return...he felt safe when she was around...also confused...she...she didn't hurt him...she was nice to him...and yet...she didn't want sex in return?

...this was weird...all his life he'd been conditioned to reward kindness with servitude and pleasure...the only two things a lowly male like him was worth...

But Mrs. Wendy actually treated him like he mattered...like he was equal to her...which of course was ridiculous...and yet...it felt good...no one had ever done that for him before...

...He wanted to make Mrs. Wendy happy...but how?...the only thing's he could think to make woman happy was serving their needs and pleasuring them...and the woman back home mad it very clear- while beating him for his 'inadequacies' -that he was lousy at the later.

Dipper had tried to do work around Mrs. Wendy's home, but Mrs. Wendy had forbidden it. Then her brothers had overruled her while she'd been away and allowed him to do their share of the work...Mrs. Wendy promptly screamed at them for tricking Dipper into doing their chores for him when she returned earlier then expected...

...So now Dipper was at a loss of what to do. His entire life was dedicated to serving and pleasuring woman who were horrible to him...now he had the opportunity to do something nice to a woman who was nice to him...but his limited life experience left him with few skills to draw on. Since he couldn't do any work for her...that left pleasuring her...which AGAIN according to every girl who'd 'practiced' with him he was terrible at...

...Maybe he could fix that somehow? Dipper cautiously took off his clothes. ...and briefly savored the gentle cress of a summer breeze on his tiny, mutilated and horrifically disfigured privates.

The woman of his life had forced him to strip constantly in order to humiliate and demean him. He'd been thrown out into the wilderness to die naked more times then he could count whenever Mrs. Pines was in one of her 'moods'...

And yet...although naked and forced to fend himself...for the brief time he was wandering in the woods before Mrs. Pines sobered up and dragged him home- before anyone found him and incriminated the 'commune'- he felt peaceful...so many years of having nothing had taught him to appreciate the little things about life..and these little things were all the more obvious in nature...the sound of dew dripping off the leaves...the macabre fascination of watching a spider trap, ambush and ensnare it's prey...contemplating the mystery of how a bumblebee was able to fly with such little wings...the perverse pleasure of violating one of the communes main rule of not exposing his male genitals to the world...the nice, cool breeze against his abused body...

...it was nice...

He looked at his reflection...as unappealing and repulsive as ever...still...perhaps there was some way he could improve his 'performance'...maybe he figured out how to give her more pleasure, Mrs. Wendy might be willing to look past his disgusting body and useless genitals to allow him the honor of making her happy.

He gets to work on perfecting some exercises the woman of the commune taught him to improve his 'technique'.

...

Meanwhile, the Corduroy front door opens up and Pacifica sneaks in. _"Okay, little Mrs. Lumberjack won't be bothering anyone for awhile...now let's see this kid that's the source of all this commotion."_ Thinks the blonde heiress as she heads for the room where an oblivious naked Dipper is...'practicing'...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Wendy's whole body hurt, Pacifica had forced her to stand like a throne in the most uncomfortable way imaginable, AND on top of bramble twigs so she could sit on her...and she wasn't even allowed to take a break when she wasn't there!

Wendy didn't know how much more she could take this, she kept trying to summon images of Dipper to give her strength...but to go through THREE whole months of this? She just...she didn't thin-

"Alright, Lumber Jane your fired! You owe me nothing! Dipper will receive the stupid Jelly at the end of the Summer, now get out of my sight before I change my mind!"

A dumbfounded Wendy could do nothing but fall on her but in surprise, "What, why?" Asked Wendy confused.

"Why?! I'm gonna hit you with a hammer, that's why! Just take this good fortune and leave you moron!" She snaps bitterly.

Wendy frowned at this, but decide it best not to question it, she tried to get up. But found that the brambles had snagged on her bikini a bit. She tries to untangle but-

"What are you waiting for!? I said leave!" Snaps Pacifica impatiently. "Wait, a minute! I need to-

But Pacifica wasn't having it, she orders a manitour to lift her up and throw her out of the forest-

"Wait! I-

 **RIP!**

A now naked Wendy grumbled miserably as a now VERY happy Manitour took her to the outskirts of the forest...where she would have LONG walk home.

Pacifica ignored this, she thought...she thought of what she saw...and it overcame her...and she cried...

...

Manly Dan found himself greeting the sight of his daughter wearing nothing but a 'welcome' mat to hide her modesty.

"What-

"I don't want to talk about it!" Snaps Wendy irritably as she streaked passed him, she sighed as she entered her room, throw down the mat, turned to her bed to relax...

And was greeted by the wide-eye's of a boy who was already there.

Wendy sighed as she covered herself embarrassed, "Right, of course."

Dipper took his eyes off her, "Forgive me for starring at your heavenly body, Mrs. Wendy...I'll assume the positi-

"Dipper, no! I'm not going to punish you, this is more my fault for forgetting you were here." Said an exasperated Wendy flatly, trying to keep the blush off her face because of his compliment.

"Oh...okay, if you say so." Stated a both confused yet relieved Dipper.

Wendy sighed as she went to get dressed

"Okay, so sorry I wasn't hear for you lately, but rest assured I secured you with the help you need-

"Oh, I know. Mrs. Pacifca is already paying to give me far better treatment then what the federal government is offering." Explained Dipper.

Wendy looked at him surprised, "Wait, what? She was HERE?"

Dipper nodded and explained how Mrs. Pacifica had came upon him while he was naked...one sight of his body made her weep and vomit...Dipper proceded to comfort her to the best of his abilities...and they got to talking...and then she told him he'd make sure he was taken care of.

Wendy was stunned, _"...Is...is this why she terminated our contract? ...WOW, maybe I misjudged Pacifica...maybe she actually DOSE have a heart."_

Wendy smiled, "Well, it's nice to see you had a good day." Dipper nodded, "Yes, it was nice to have my sexuality complimented for once."

Wendy looked at him confused, "What do you mean?"

"Oh, naturally to get her to stop crying I offered to pleasure her and she agreed..." He sighed, "She was very nice, despite my best efforts I can ONLY pleasure a woman for five hours straight and only give them 10 measly orgasms...and yet she was nice enough to lie and say it was the best experience ever...and not beat me up for how inadequate I am!" He smiled happily.

Wendy's eye twitched(and blushed), she threw back her head and screamed to the heaven's:

 **NORTHWEST! YOU-**

That day would be forever called 'cursing day' by the residents of gravity falls...as well as the towns several miles over...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

...III...

Pacfica tried to enjoy her newfound kingdom...but she couldn't...she kept thinking about the plight of that poor, unfortunate soul who(indirectly) gave her all this...all he suffered...how he hurt...

...how sex with him had been the greatest experience she'd ever had...now she knew it had been wrong to do that- and boy was that a weird experience! Feeling 'guilt'- Her, a NORTHWEST feeling guilt for doing something 'bad'! She felt awful for doing that...

...she was totally having sex with him again, the next chance she got, though...boy, life was confusing...

"Uh, your majesty? That red head is back...and she looks mad..." Says one of her manitour guards. Pacifica sighs...but orders the guards to leave her.

Wendy storms into the clearing- Pacifica is briefly amused by the fact that she'd been so angry she'd forgotten to put on clothes and stormed naked back -then she has to doge a log being thrown at her.

"YOU HUSSY OF A PERVERT OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DIPPER LIKE THAT!?" She screamed.

Pacifica sighed, "Okay...look Wendy, you have every right to be mad. So...whatever you want to do, I'll allow you. I won't tell my dad- she opens herself up for attack -do as you will-

 **CRACK!**

Wendy punched her in the face and continued to pummel her...

...

"WHAT THE BLOOD!? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE RELUCTANT TO BEAT SOMEONE UP WHO SURRENDERED AND WAS YOUNGER THEN YOU!" Screamed a now naked and badly beaten up Pacifica as she dangled from a top of a tall tree.

A still naked Wendy snorts as she walks away while dusting her hands off, "That only works in stupid cartoons where the writer is too lazy to think of a better way to wrap up a conflict." She retorts annoyed as she walks off completely unashamed of her nudity...

...and then it starts to snow...

"SERIOUSLY!?" Screamed Pacifica as her naked body began to shiver, "IT'S SUMMER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

A Kill Billy walks by, "Yeah, the weather this far in the enchanted forest can be kinda nuts...last Wednesday it LITERALLY rained cats and dogs. But hey, what can you do?"

"YOU CAN GET ME DOWN FROM THIS TREE!" She screamed, but the Kill Billy was already gone...

Pacifica groaned...she had a LOOOOOOONG night ahead of her...

...

"Well, everyone's seen me naked, but I put that blonde bitch in her place, so I chalk this up as a win." Says a tired Wendy as she goes to put on clothes.

On Wendy's bed Dipper coughs to get her attention, "Uh, Miss Wendy?"

Wendy turns to him, "Yes?" She asks through half closed eyes...

Dipper gulps, "Uh...might I be so bold to ask that when you lie in the bed you've graciously allowed to slumber in...that you do so...WITHOUT clothes?" He asks, his face very red.

Wendy probably would've said no ordinarily, but she was so tired she just nodded and flopped on the bed naked and was out like a alight...

...an awake Wendy also would've noticed that Dipper was currently naked as well...

The boy happily snuggled up to her...enjoying the warmth and safety of her bosom...

"...I love you mistress Wendy...you make more happy then anyone..." he sheds a tear...and is out like a light...but not before a still slumbering Wendy returns the hug...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

 **GET OUT, YOU SPOILED BRAT!**

Screams Wendy as she throws a naked Pacifica out the window-

 **IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!**

She screams before landing in a briar bush...

Wendy groans, this was the FIFTH time this week Pacifica had successfully snuck in to have sex with Dipper...between keeping Dipper safe and finding an alternate cure for his issues(there was no way she was going to rely solely on a cure that that bitch Pacifica had 'promised'.), she was exhausted! And the constant misunderstandings with her father weren't helping either...

...

"HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTERS 'TWINS'!"

"EWW! DAD HE WAS JUST MASSAGING MY FEET!"

...

But awkwardness aside, Wendy was on another mission. She read how a Gobblewonkers was considered a deity by the local tribes, and using ancient tribal paintings the author theorized that one of the offerings given to the beast may have been the legendary 'wishing stone'...again, bit of a longshot...but so was the whole thing with the gnomes and it...sorta panned out, didn't it?

...whatever, she had no other ideas, and Dipper needed help. So she had Soos take her to the middle of the lake...it was a foggy day, the only other ship about seemed to be an old trawler passing by...

"Okay, Soos. Where's this expert on the Gobblewonker you said you knew?"

"Ta-da!" Shouts Soos as he reveals Old Man Mcgucket. "Sorry I was late my Racoon wife gave me babbies...or Rabbies...which one is which again?"

Wendy just blinks at the elderly man briefly...then chuckles nervously, "Right...have to get back to you on that...could you excuse us for a moment?" She quickly drags Soos to the other side of the Boat.

"REALLY, Soos? MCGUCKET?!" She snarled annoyed.

"Well, he said he knew things about the Gobblewonker." Offered Soos with innocent sincerity. "He also 'knows' 100 different ways to keep gremlins out of his head!" Said Wendy sarcastically.

Soos frowned, "Wait...I thought Gremlins actually did exist? Along with all the other magical creatures that the Northwests now control?" He asked confused.

Wendy blinked baffled, "What, no- Yes, I mean- Look, that's different!"

"Is it? "Asked Soos, "Mcgucket has been going on about weird critters running around for years, many of which turned out to be REAL. Maybe just...I don't know, I'm just saying...is what he says really 'insane' anymore? Maybe...maybe at least give him the benefit of the doubt?"

Wendy frowned...but thought about what he said... "huh...that's actually a pretty good point...okay, you know what? Why not? Crazier things have happened!"

"Like a bunch of crazy looking woman tying up mcgucket and taking over the ship?" Asked Soos.

"Yeah, like a bunch of crazy woman tying up mcgucket- Wait, what? What are you talking about Soos?"

Soos suddenly went very pale, "Uh..." Wendy also went pales... "That's...happening, right now and behind me. Isn't it?" She asked with dread.

"Indeed", said a new voice behind her. "Hands in the air and turn around slowly."

Wendy gulped, but obliged...sure enough, there were many crazy looking woman pouring out of the trawler from earlier onto the ship...all of which were now pointing guns at her.

"Don't worry guys, I got this!" Shouts a tied up Mcguket as he pulls some car keys from his pocket and clicks the car alarm button several times. "Shut up, patriarch scum!" Snapped a woman as she kicks him in the face.

"Whoa, okay. Look, we don't want any trouble, just take our money and the boat and we'll swim to shore, deal?"

"We don't want your money, TRAITOR. And it's a bit late to NOT want trouble." Wendy looks at them confused, "Wha- Traitor? I don't even know you people!"

"No, but you know one of our daughters, Mable."

Wendy's eyes went wide, "Wait, your part of the commune?" "No, but the commune is one of many chapters...chapters which thanks to you are being taken down one by one!

"Wait, what? I thought I only busted the one!"

There was a grown from one of the more elderly woman, "For the love of...kids today...haven't you been watching the news?"

Wendy frowned, putting aside how busy she'd been taking care of Dipper...well...like most kids her age if it wasn't cool, sexy, or exploding she wasn't interested...

Another woman shook her head, "Never mind. The commune you busted happened to be one of our main administration hubs, usually the sensitive information is more compartmentalized and encrypted...but apparently the commune mistress had grown cocky and arrogant..long story short, your interference set in motion a chain of events that lead to half of our sisterhood's operations shut down within a week!"

Wendy knew this was the part where she was supposed to say something badass or awesome...but honestly, she was too busy trying to keep herself from wetting herself with all those guns pointed at her...

"Soon, you and that 'boy'- she spat out the name like it was a curse -will be dead-

"WHAT!? Your going to kill Dipper? Hasn't he suffered enough?" Exclaimed Wendy suddenly.

"His kind cannot suffer enough! Nor will all traitors who support his ilk! Despite all the setbacks you've thrown at us, our sisterhood WILL rise again! From your corpse we will arise anew!"

"Ewww!" Said Soos.

"Silence! Although Traitor. As a fellow female we shall still give you an honorable death. Sisters, on my mark! Ready, aim, fi-

 **ROAR!**

 **SPLASH!**

Suddenly a giant sea monster sprang from the depths. Mcgucket looked at his car clicker confused, "Huh, that should'a got here quicker, maybe short circuit?

 **CRASH!**

The last thing Wendy saw before everything went dark for the entire ship being body slammed by the creature...

...

Wendy groaned as she awoke...she looked around and saw she was in some underground cavern...next to a underground lake...inside a giant nest with-

"NEST!" Exclaimed Wendy excited, maybe this was the Gobblewonkers nest...she quickly looked through it...

"skull, license plate, seashell bra- BINGO!" She picks up the weird glowing stone excited, "I WISH DIPPER WAS SAFE FROM BEING KILLED AND HEALED!" She shouts and gives a hard squeeze-

 **SPLASH!**

Suddenly it squirts water at her, envelops her...and leaves her completely naked. "What the- Just...WHAT? Why did it- Then she reads an inscription on the bottom.

 **To whoever finds this and see this enchanted inscription:**

 **I'm sorry to say that more likely then not you are just on of many to confuse the 'Wishing stone' with the lesser known 'washing stone'.**

 **Try not to feel so bad, your not the first. They do look relatively the same and were made by the same group of esoteric monks.**

 **Fear not for your clothes, they shall return to you in 24 hours squeaky clean and repaired!**

Wendy's eye twitched, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" She went through all that...left Dipper ALONE and undefended...for NOTHING!?

Angrily she threw the stone away and jumped into the lake in hopes she could swim back to the main lake. She immediately squealed! IT WAS COLD! SO COLD! Even if she weren't naked she wouldn't be able to swim it!

She shivered, she was so cold! She needed SOME covering, ANY covering! she sees that seashell bra again...she shrugs as it was better then nothing and put it on-

 **ZAP!**

And now she was a mermaid...

Wendy blinked...then blinked...then blinked again...She sighed, "You know what? I give up...I'm just going to write this frack as 'magic' and move on..."

As the cold water no longer affected her she started to head out...then saw the washing stone again...seeing how she went through so much trouble to get it she figured she might as well take it...also she wanted to make sure she got her hat back.

It took some trial and error, but she found out how to work her tail- avoided the hungry looking Gobblewonker returning home. she was soon on the shore...where another broken gobblewonker machine lay next to an exhausted Soos and Macgucket?

Again, Wendy only briefly considers this odd situation before refocusing on saving Dipper. Sadly, she has to take off her bra to turn back to normal. So she's forced to run naked to her house...which is surrounded by commune fanatics being beaten up by magical creatures?!

"Wait, what!?" Shouted the baffled red-head.

Turns out Pacifica had been in the middle of yet another round of loving with Dipper when the fanatics attacked, she used her specail horn to summon for aide...

...since she'd saved Dipper and her family, Wendy gave her a one-time pass and allowed her to leave without issue...after they left, she put the two new magical items in her hope chest(Tambry bought it for her last birthday as a gag gift) along with the journal and fell naked on her bed, cuddled up with an equally naked Dipper and went to sleep...

...

Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location. "It's official, the American branch is faltering...

"That branch was frankly in need of pruning anyway, they were a disgrace!"

"Enough! Obviously we need to send a group of specialists in to asses the damage and salvage what they can...or failing that at least erase any connection to us."

Agreed, "Team Harpie will be dispatched to the US immediately..."

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

**Mable just wants Dipper to be happy 8**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

After Pacifica risked life and limb to help Dipper...Wendy just didn't have it in her to keep her from Dipper anymore...in any case Dipper rather enjoyed a girl who complimented his lovemaking and treated oh-so tender lovingly as he did so...so...why not?

It didn't hurt her decision that between working at the shack and looking for a cure for Dipper's issues...she was just too tired for anything else...

Dipper noticed her stress...and wished to help...

...

Manly Dan was walking by Wendy's room when he heard the following...

"Miss Wendy I want you to feel better down 'there', may I please make you feel better? You've done so much to help me and I want to pay you back." Manly Dan gaped in horror, what was happening here?

"I don't think that's a good idea you might not like it, I mean no offense Dipper but no ones ever done that for me before." Explained Wendy. Dan was foaming, how dare this BOY ask to snack on her womanhood!? After all they'd done for him!?

"I know but you've been on your feet all day trying to help me and you look like you really need to relax and this will help. Besides good or bad you're gonna like it." Dan at that point could swallow coal and crap out a Diamond.

"You know what? You're right! Let me take these off - rustling of clothes could be heard much to Dan's horror- and you can get to work. I'm a little self conscious about this Dipper, doesn't it look weird?" The statement flabbergasts Dan, why would ANYONE ask that about their 'bits'? "No. In fact it looks very pretty,just like everything else about you. Now, let me get to work."

Suddenly the room is full of Wendy's MOANS of approval and squeals of delight.

 **CRACK!**

 **"BOY YOU HAVE SECONDS TO MAKE PEACE WITH BUNYAN BEFORE-** What they hey?"

Dan has heard enough at that point and barges In only to see Dipper and Wendy wearing clothes and Dipper massaging Wendy's feet. Wendy is too out of it relaxed to care her dad barged in and says Dippers hands are magic. Dipper is of course scared and apologizes before scurrying under Wendy's bed.

After Wendy realizes that Dipper stopped massaging her feet, the aches come back and she realizes what her father has done. She gets really mad and approaches Dan visibly angry...

The scene cuts to Dan fleeing terrified and you the narrator states that Dan walked with a Limp that he never spoke of for the remainder of his life...

...

While Stan was setting up the wax man exhibits, Wendy was busy reading through the journal for more ways to cure Dipper. Although things seemed good with Pacifica now, Wendy wasn't about to put all her eggs in one basket- Especially a basket owned by the NORTHWESTS.

She flipped through the pages... "Warlocks...centaurs...strativarius?" Wendy shakes her head with a sigh. "Y'know, I'd probably be enjoying all this whole 'D D come to life' thing if not for the mentally crippled boy who needed my help."

She takes a quick peek at the paper, showing all the corpses of the crazy woman who tried to murder her and Dipper being sent to federal forensics. Between the evidence found on said corpses and their testimonies; several more commune chapters were raided and arrested.

Wendy groaned...a lot of these 'maybe' cures were deep in the forest in near impossible to reach places...she'd go there if she had to...but she'd REALLY like to try out anything that was close to home...

 **Gideon!**

Wendy's eye's widen as a familiar commercial comes on...

...

Wendy snuck out While Stan was preoccupied yelling at wax John Wilkes Booth for 'assassinating' his favorite...to go see Gideon's show. She'd never known much about him save for what Stan occasionally ranted(and she mostly tuned out for). She'd usually never give a 'psychic' a second glance..but considering she became a mermaid in a sea monsters den the other day...well, who knows? Seems like anything was possible these days...Also she REALLY didn't want to walk fifty miles through a fire swamp to fight a cyclopes if she could help it, so this was her current best option...

She wasn't exactly won over by his cutsey song and dance...but after seeing him know about intimate secrets like Toby's gross rash or Lazy eye Susan's secret ingredient...it made Wendy wonder...could he be real?

...or he could just be a clever fraud...BUT since it was either this or finding an ancient gold pyramid that MAY be full of cannibals...well, it didn't hurt to be thorough right?

So after the show she went up to talk to him. "Why hello there...Wendy Corduroy is it?" Asked Gideon. "Wait, you know me?" Asked Wendy.

"Well I'd be a lousy Psychic if I didn't, now would I?" Gideon giggled, "Seriously though, I'd have to be blind and deaf not to hear about the radiant angel that rescued that poor boy from that den of harpies!"

Wendy couldn't help but be flattered, "Well...I don't know I'd say 'angel'..." She chuckled slightly, but quickly shook her head getting her back on task. "Right, about that...Look, I know this is a long-shot... but any chance you know a psychic trick to help Dipper with his problems?"

Gideon got a thoughtful look, "Huh...won't lie...that's a TALL order...if...if I recall correctly...I remember something about a..oh, what was it...a soothsquito? How it could help psychics...cure night terrors? Or such? Shoot, it was so long ago I've forgotten..." Gideon shakes his head sadly.

Wendy frowns...she thinks she remembers something in the journal about a soothsquito...but she'd just flipped past it.

"Hey, I think I have something about that..." Wendy rustles in her bag..only to find the journal NOT there...

"Wha? I coulda sworn...Shoot! I must have left it back at the Shack!"

"It's alright my dear, Stan is no fan of mine, but together I bit we could get this journal before he notices!"

Wendy thanks him for his help and leads the way...never notcing his warm grin...become a twisted smirk...

...

Gideon chuckled to himself as Wendy opened the back door of the shack, _"Foolish girl! you know not the power you hold! You go all around town holding that dang journal! Only a matter of time before I saw it!"_ They walk inside, _"I already got my dear dad setting up a trap, you'll never see it come-_

 **CRACK!**

Wendy looked behind just in time to see WAX Lizzie Borden cut off Gideon's head. "She's a witness! KILL HER!" Screams WAX sherlock holmes, Wendy had but one second to process the hoard of Wax people coming after her-

 **CRACK!**

Before she pulled out her Axe and sliced right through them. "How?" Grunted Collio. "Dude...your made of wax." Pointed out Wendy. shen then crushes his head beneath her boot.

After disposing the rest and helping Soos and Stan get out of the closet they'd been hiding in and Stan tossed Gideon's corpse down the bottomless pit(and that was NOT the first time he'd done that)that she re-read the journal-

"Huh, this soothsquito is interesting...but useless. Sorry Gideon, looks like this was all for nothing..." She then notices Gideon's bolo tie that had fallen to the ground. Remembering a description of it in the journal, she realizes it has telekentic powers!

"YES! This is just what I need to get through that stupid fire swamp! Thanks Gideon!" She runs to get ready for her next big adventure...finding the golden fleece...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This chapter was helped by _RasenganFin_**

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
